It’s a new year when most younger people make resolutions to better themselves. But it begs the question: do older folks also need to make resolutions and goals? If you believe there is no “exoneration” in old age and that the secret to a short life is to “live it wide”, you had better get off your duff and make those resolutions and goals, read on.
Why do we make Resolutions in the First Place?
Why do people make resolutions in the first place? We humans are strange creatures indeed. We take a perfect circle that really has no beginning nor end, and we pick a particular spot in the earth’s rotation around the sun and declare that is the beginning of the next revolution – very presumptuous on our part.
In the northern hemisphere it begins roughly at the beginning of winter. How does that make sense? Those folks in the southern hemisphere have it so much better. At least they have warmer weather by which to act on their new resolutions.
Anyway, it’s all about “new beginnings”. O.K. so we screwed up last year, we didn’t accomplish much, if fact we picked up even more bad habits, and what about that extra 20lbs we’ve added to our girth? Not a problem, everyone gets a fresh start. The earth just hit that magical point in its journey and we can start over.
Should seniors set New Year’s resolutions? Is there anything else to improve upon?
Let’s say you’re 65 years old, you’ve been setting resolutions probably since you were 15. So that’s 50 annual resolutions, hopefully you’ve set a few good habits out of the 50 so what’s left? Eat more spinach? Kind of lame at this age. You’re probably coming up empty.
You’d best ask your closest loved ones. They’re the one noticing you’re tuning into a curmudgeon or a cranky old bitch as you age. That would be a good resolution – “be less cranky”. And that’s only the beginning, certainly they can come up with even more.
Should seniors set annual goals?
When we were young, we made more than a resolution, we set multiple “goals” for the entire year. We delineated:
- Earn 20% more by year end.
- Max out my 401(K) matching contributions
- Lose 10 lbs.
- Run a half marathon.
- Climb Mt. Washington.
- Ask Mr. drop dead handsome for a date.
- Vacation in Costa Rica.
Again, you’ve been doing this for 50 years, does it even make sense to go through another Tony Robbins style goal setting workshop, what’s the point?
There’s no Exoneration
Well, one could make a strong case for exoneration. That is, we’ve earned the right to a listless, unplanned life without setting deadlines upon ourselves. After all we did that our entire lives. Right? Wrong?
Authors Phil Stutz and Barry Michels address this concept in their book “The Tools”.
According to Stutz, we all have a fantasy of a “magical something” – a new relationship, a promotion, recognition, or possession that will remove us from the “treadmill that is real life”. For boomers that something is most likely “retirement” where you no longer have to do anything.
But Stutz postulates that the ultimate obligation is to make an effort for the rest of your life. So the release of obligations, or exoneration, is impossible. When, inevitably, this false hope for “easy street” is shattered, we’re left demoralized. This is an inescapable law: exoneration always ends in demoralization. This is not the way you want to spend our last years.
Furthermore, that wise ancient stoic, Seneca, advised that since life is short, we must therefore “live life wide”. What the heck does living wide mean? It basically means don’t waste another minute cram as much life into each and every day we can. Climb Machu Picchu this year, don’t wait for next, you may not be around.
Back to goal setting for Boomers. Even at our advanced age we should sit down and think deeply about what we want to accomplish in the next year, write it down, review often and commit. It’s nothing new, you were a pro 20 years ago. Do it, remember there’s no exoneration.
With that, may your new year be rich in experience…and very wide.